Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
