She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
