Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
