It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
