We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
