Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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