I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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