its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
