Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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