I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
