I am puke
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
