i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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