I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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