I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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