Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
