She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
