This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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