I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
