that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
