:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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