You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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