do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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