If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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