I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
