her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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