google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
