my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
