I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
