handjob tips. give me some.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
