I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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