your thong is hanging out like whoa
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
