I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
