Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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