Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate all girls vehemently.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
