I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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