Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
