She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
