Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
