i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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