i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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