I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
