and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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