I am puke
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
