Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
