toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
