and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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