I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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