hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
