i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
