We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
